Liars, Nutrition, and Bodybuilders

So I'm trying to get more calories and trying to make my macros 40p, 40f, 20c.

It's very very tricky if you don't eat grains, to get enough calories.  And frankly, I don't see how anyone who DOES eat grains can ever get 20c a day.  Sometimes my SALADS tip me over 20c and it's just friggin' lettuce and tomatoes and vegs!  Add rice or bread and you internet people HAVE to be lying about what you're eating.  And this right here is why I never believed anyone about how much their eating yet competing as bodybuilders.  In the 80s, you'd have Ah-nold saying no white death (white flour, white sugar, white rice) and Stallone saying, "eat something that had a face and a salad," versus the juicers going on about eating multiple pizzas and sweating like pigs at night, trying to sleep, feeling the 'roids burn all the calories.
And today we have flat out liars who don't know dick but sure have a lot to say for themselves anyway.


Example: "Use a whole-wheat soft tortilla, smear a small amount of low-fat mayonnaise on top, and add in a pre-grilled chicken breast, shredded lettuce, cucumbers, and tomatoes." 
Ok, do you NOT realize how much sugar/carbs is in that?  And Frankenfats because what is mayo?  It's simply oil, vinegar, and eggs in a blender.  What do you suppose a low-fat version could be made from since the main ingredient that makes it what it is, is now low fat?  Well, not a food item.  And a wheat tortilla?  Pure sugar, the most simple carb ever made.  Your saliva turns it to digestible sugar as soon as you start chewing.  And how much chicken/protein should you add to off-set the vegs and the sugar and the frankenfat to count as a high protein snack?  Yeah.  Exactly. 

Stupid.

Here's another full of nuts and yogurt.  I make yogurt.  It's not some mystic health infused magical protein of the gods. 1 cup of yogurt has the same amount of protein as a cup of milk.  Matter of fact, just call it a cup of milk and be done because that's it, man.  It's just milk and bacteria, no magic. Not much protein.  Drink a gallon or 2 of milk a day like Dave Draper but let's get over the magic yogurt phenomena.

And nuts.  Very little protein but heaps of fat.  Sure, it's the good fat but everyone says they didn't drop any weight until they got off the nuts for snacks.  So are any of these great snack choices?  Honestly, are they better than a freakin' Snickers bar?

I don't know what IS a good snack, which is why I looked for answers, but there is so much bad information out there, it's absolutely crazy. 

From now on, I want to see a pic of anyone posting nutritional info online.  I'm checking for body fat and steroid use, shouldn't leave me much nonsense to weed thru at all!